Practice Makes Still A Long Ways To Go :/

You know, sometimes I wonder if a character trait can be recessive or if Darwinism applies to personality....Am I alone in wondering this? I dunno, but when I look a certain character and personality traits I have I often realize that had I been born maybe 100, 150 years ago there's no way I'd survive....I mean, I imagine having to hunt for food or till a farm to feed myself and my family(yes I know they didn't really hunt for food 100 years ago) and if I was completely honest with myself I'd probably have to say that me and my family would be dead, lol....I know, it's sad, but I know me :/ Anyways, character traits aside today was a milestone for me as a guitar player. Now, by no means am I a virtuoso, but if you were to ask me if I know how to play the guitar, as of today I would say, "Yep." You may ask, "What the heck does that have to do with Darwinism or personality traits?" Well one of my greatest weaknesses is that I don't always put my best foot forward...It was refreshing today to see that my efforts in overcoming my character flaws has spilled over into my one true passion(well second true passion)....Having said that, there are still many many many more calloused fingertips, cramped hands, and ringing ears to go, but I am finally something that I've always wanted to be.....A musician :)

Vision.....

so last night I had a dream and the only thing I can remember from it is that someone had told me that Uncle Phil from "Fresh Prince of Bel Air " had died. I've never had dreams about people dying before it happened or it was either something so outlandish that I knew it couldn't be true, like me murdering Shaq' with a spatula(yes i actually had that dream).....anyway I don't know what the point of that is. I just thought I'd share it with you guys cuz it kinda creeped me out. To add to the creepiness me and James Avery(the actor who plays Uncle Phil) have the same birthday :/ Anyways that has nothing to do with what I want to talk about, lol....So today while spending some time with God I had this amazing vision of myself 10 years from now on a stage with my guitar performing somewhere. As cool as that would be in and of itself it's what I was talking about that caught my attention. A little back story before I continue....My time in Indianapolis has been without a doubt the hardest time in my spiritual walk, and these past few weeks have just been some of my darkest.....I was struggling with a bunch of issues and I had reached a point were I felt like I was pretty much unable to be loved by God anymore because of how often I had struggled and failed with certain sin....I was really at a point of wondering if I really had what i takes to continue living my life as a Christian...Like I said it was a very dark time....But God being the God that He is had far from given up on or stopped loving me. He used a great friend of mine to say some things to me that I really needed to hear and at times it was harsh and cutting but all of it was stuff I am glad they said.....Looking back on it only a week later I honestly think those words saved my life.....I doubt that friend will ever read this but I am forever indebted to them :) So getting back to this vision, I'm on stage with my guitar, probably in between songs, and I start talking about my life now(10 years from now in my dream) and my life then(now) and how I was going through so many things and didn't think I would make it, and how God has done so many great things to use me and make me into the man I am today(10 years from now). Pretty much the gist of what I was saying was that if God could make me in to the man you see before you today then heck can do the same for you. It was so real! It felt almost as if God was telling that this is where I will be if I remain in him and persevere to be the man he created me to be! Hopefully years from now I will be able to look back on this day and say this is where God brought me from!! Today was a good day :) Anyway, until next time my friends......hopefully the next entry will be something that involves a little more audience participation :)

The First Blog

.....you all can thank insomnia for this one. I had been debating whether or not I was really going to go through with starting a blog that I would actually make an effort to keep up, and after removing many distractions from my life I decided this is one thing that I could actually feel good about spending a certain amount of time throughout my week doing. Anyways, this is the first of hopefully many of my musings about random things from yours truly to music to politics to religion or a myriad of many uncomfortable yet necessary topics....My goal is to spark discussion and free thinking among people who actually care about what I have to say, and also this is an effort for me to let people get to know me better(I hate grapes....betcha didn't know that :) )....Hope people will actually read this. Maybe it can be my platform to tell the world things I feel it needs to hear.....hopefully it can do the same in return